She feels the detach , not the ache one but the relief detach. FINALLY! you shall have your piece of mind and so shall she, You know she doesn’t get how she hurts a lot and she was the toxic one….How are you?(she’s concerned) please be coping, if it makes you feel better she’s not really okay , some days are good actually superb , some are excruciating especially last night.
She misses the thrill (she hasn’t felt it in a while), if she knew you’d be her first love she would have negotiated with the man above ”please not him” cause the end results weren’t pleasing at all.
Memories: they still creep up on her do they on your side? Can you believe they also make her giddy? …. you’re not surprised, she’s not either
Remember..this is gonna sting but …
The question had been how your memory lane had been so far with her….
your answer :It has its good and bad its shortcomings and stuff but I haven’t / won’t ever regret it…. complicated it seemed but fun it was when it did
Made her think ” I’ll definitely grow grey hair with him together” *sigh*
Too late but…. what you should have known…
She did love you, she said it a couple of times everything about you…. the simplicity you had the ability to make a very ‘worthless space’ worthwhile and every minute, everything was calm non existence even the books she pretended to read while she was with you sometimes, she purposely did that to get that ‘play fight’,to get your attention. She hated each second that she had to get back home after a spent day or night together. You were her clarity.
If she met you today her stomach would turn, cheeks would flush too
God knows what a wreck she was after a fight any fight.
ps: it pains her that she’s using the past tense now.
Ugh! we are at this part it was ugly for both of you.
I have tried, really tried why now? now when you’re okay have you thought of how I felt?. I have known you for a long time and you mean every word you say. Look, I would write an entire book of how much I love you as intensely as me deciding to walk away and not looking back. This ‘us’ is not healthy the vicious cycle of us being back and forth is tiring too.This here had to be the final, the words, till today she would recite them word by word lad
She knew you and her were dead how you spoke from the core, which means you meant it. Her final task is erasing the thought that she would ever walk down the aisle to meet you.
Do find love ,real one not the toxic one, a broken heart can still beat again – she still wishes you well
The detach is her trying, convincing herself to fully detach….